Man, 2017 has really kicked. my. ass. I have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lowest over the past 10 months and while I'm grateful for a lot of the moments, I can honestly say I'm ready for a new year. 

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen that my grandfather passed away back in July. For me, this was heartbreaking and the world around me came tumbling down that day. It was Friday night; the day after my dad's birthday and a four days before mine. I was picking up a burrito from my favorite Mexican restaurant in Phoenix when I got the call from my uncle and I immediately burst into tears. A very nice lady came up and gave me a hug and then I had to call my dad to tell him his dad had passed away and boy does that sucks. 

The next week would be a complete blur. I went into work on Monday, celebrated my birthday on Tuesday and flew to Pittsburgh on Wednesday to remember the best person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Then, I came home and closed on my first house. What was supposed to be an exciting chapter in my life was incredibly bittersweet. The last conversation I had with my grandfather I had told him I was buying a house and he told me how proud he was and he couldn't wait to come visit. 

Every moment I have lived since, I can't help but think about him and what advice he would give me. I listen to the only voicemail I have on my phone from him just to hear is voice and then I imagine him giving me advice in that same exact Italian voice. I loved that man with every fiber in my being and my world is a far less brighter place without him. 

While I know this isn't my normal upbeat blog style, I felt like it was something I've needed to share and write out. I haven't talked about it very much but it really was one of the worst moments of my life. I've struggled to deal with the sadness, but I know that comes with time.